The Morning Paper
[Temporarily] Suspended

My Apologies
I'm incredibly thoughtless and lazy.



maystar * designs

Friday, March 28, 2003

Support our troops... by wearing these T-SHIRTS!

A couple days ago, I recieved an email. The subject was "Support our Troops" so I was like, okay, let's see what this is all about. I open the email and there it is... this

So, basically, by buying one of these wonderful t-shirts, you will be aiding the Americans win the war. Hmm... I think I might buy one or ten. What the fuck is up with American propoganda? They used the 9/11 tragedy to thier benifit - have you seen all the "Never Forget/Always Remember" shit? Which do you want us to do? Never forget or always remember? Make up your mind. Anyway, I think my favourite shirt would be the target with Sadam's face in it. How disgusting is that? Well, I just have to say thanks to the Propaganda machine that is the U.S., you have shat on my day.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Have Musicians Gone Too Far? - I swear the first draft was funnier... but Carter didn't get the jokes, so I took them out so even idiot savants could understand it.

We’ve all heard the saying “sex sells”, but have today’s musical artists taken this too seriously? With the current chart toppers being Christina Aguilera’s Dirrty and Nelly’s Hot ‘n Here it’s not only obvious that these musicians cannot spell but they seem to have one main focus; sex.
It’s made obvious to everyone that artists think videos should include as much T&A as possible. Primarily in male hip hop or rap videos, scantily clad girls are thrown in wherever the camera goes; on counters, table tops and draped on the musician himself. Even Lil’ Romeo, the 13-year-old rapper, has women dancing around in very little clothing. If I were a male, I wouldn’t have had any objections, but since I’m female, I find these videos degrading. Sure, the women in these videos made their own choices in life, I just can’t watch the videos without being disgusted and ashamed of what women have come to. These women are made objects to sell more records. What a worthy cause.
Some may argue that it’s not just the video that attracts them to the artist – it’s their music. Well, I can’t argue that Hot ‘n Here doesn’t have all the bass hooks that everyone wants, but what about the lyrical content (or lack thereof)? Take the chorus for example: It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. I am getting so hot; I wanna take my clothes off. I find these lyrics to be completely void of any deeper meaning. If Nelly wasn’t a respected musician and he said that to any woman, they would most likely backhand him. It’s absurd to think that’s charming.
To lay off the Y-chromosomes for a while, let’s take a look at the ladies, shall we? Since the debut of Britney Spears, other female artists have been falling behind and struggling to keep up. They are forced to take desperate measures. Most of them take the easy way out and shed some layers. Living proof of this is Christina Aguilera. Former Walt Disney sweetheart knew her album sales would skyrocket if only she would shake that thing and show some skin. She did just that in her Dirrty video where she is seen wearing her underwear with an added touch of chaps. In this video, there are several scenes of her dancing provocatively with both guys and girls. If that doesn’t spell “good, clean family fun”, I don’t know what does. I honestly don’t think she needed to take such measures. She has a powerful voice and she is very pretty with clothes on. The majority of musicians don’t need to take this road to have a successful music career. Why do they do it, then? To feel sexy? To pocket some extra cash? To raise some eyebrows? Well, I say congratulations to these musicians, they’ve succeeded in all this, plus, cheapening their credibility.
Really, is all this necessary? I think not. When choosing the next album in your collection, don’t let it be a battle of the biggest breasts, it should be a battle between pure talent. Madonna was sexy in her prime, but her music came first, which is why she is still successful today. The musicians that put sexiness before music can and will only last for a brief period of time. Now, no one argues that sex doesn’t sell, but whom does it sell to? The weak minded.

Friday, March 21, 2003


One month until my birthday.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

I know my one and only reader, Lauren, has been complaining about how little I've updated lately, so here is something for you.

Well, the truth is, I lack motivation to post. No other people visit this site and leave a nice comment here and there. Greg used to comment quite a bit, I'm not sure what happened to him. He could be lost in the vast sea that is the internet. If you haven't noticed, I hate posting about my actual life, which is also why I post so little. Fuck, I can barely motivate myself to write this tripe. It's funny how passion can whither so quickly.

Anyway, I'm working on a persuasive essay for english. Maybe, once I'm done my good copy, I will post that. Yeah.


Saturday, March 15, 2003

eXtreme Blog!

What's with the advertising companies throwing in things like "eXtreme", "MAX" and "X-Treme" everywhere? Seriously, do people actually fall for these things? Do the advertising companies really believe everyone will believe they're taking a risk by biting into a KitKat MAX? Or a chip in a bag with "eXtreme" written on it? Really, KitKat MAX only has about 1/2 an inch more than a regular one. Does that spell value for most people?

Thursday, March 13, 2003

Sunday, March 09, 2003

Cute as a waaaa?

You know, I was driving in the car with my mother the other day. She mentioned a girl (Alexandra) who is in grade nine who is going out with a guy in grade twelve. She continued to say he's about as intelligent as a paper weight and just as useful - of course she wasn't clever enough to compair him to a paper weight. Then she said that real relationships are based on compatablility, not the social status or looks of a person. I said "well, I know how that is. I'm not as attractive as most girls so I have to look for guys who are actually interesting." She reponded with "WHAT! What are you talking about 'not attractive'? You're as cute as a button, Andrea!" You know, most would see that as a complement, but I just don't understand that saying. I mean, who in their right mind would like to have sex with a button or something that closely resembles it? I know I wouldn't want to.
Another saying close to that one "You're as cute as a bug in a rug". Hell, if I found a bug in my rug I'd be fucking disgusted. I would question how sanitary the rug was and I would most likely slaughter the damn bug for being in my rug.

Now for some good sayings. "That could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon". Classic way to tell someone they stink like the pits of hell.
"Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey". I think you can figure that one out...

I would list more, but I'm so goddamn lazy.

Saturday, March 08, 2003

What the fuck is wrong with me? This quizzes don't say anything about personality. They're a waste of time. Oh yeah, that's why I did them in the first place.

Well, I'm pissed today. It's now 3:40 and I still haven't recieved a call/letter/email of apology from Olivia. Why should she be apologizing, you ask? Well, she fucking forgot to call both Lauren and myself to invite us to a little get-together. How does she forget her best friends, you ask? Well, I'm not too sure. Once she gets her head out of her ass, why don't you ask her.

Thursday, March 06, 2003


Yeah, I'm really not that enthusiastic right now, but this is the internet and you can fake anything on here (i.e. name, sex, age, breast size, cock size, weight, height, overall appearance, etc.)

God, the picture that was there before was scary. But highly entertaining. Haha. Awesome.

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Going to a movie this weekend...

What choices do I have?

Shanghi Nights - A sequil to an arse movie, Shanghi Noon. You know it's going to be a great movie when all the jokes are based on their racial differences.

Agent Cody Banks - Cody is a typical teen, except for ONE UNBELIEVABLE FACT! He's a secret agent for the CIA or FBI or ESL! How will Cody cope with his differences and inability to score with a slutty 12 year-old?

Old School - A bunch of middle-aged men go through a mid-life crisis. Instead of purchasing a horribly expensive hog, they decide to start a frat.
Oh boy, sounds like trouble.

Kangaroo Jack - Some dudes find a "dead" kangaroo on their trip to Australia. Oh big twist though, the kangaroo ISN'T REALLY DEAD! Oh dear! And they left all of their mob money in the jacket they put on the kangaroo! Now they have to chase the kangaroo through the outback! How will this movie last for 99 minutes?!

Hmm... I wonder which one I should choose...

Tuesday, March 04, 2003


Wow, great album. I really like it. That makes me want to write a badly crafted review (not intentionally, of course).

From Last of the Ghetto Astronauts to the Audio of Being, Matt Good has been the lead singer of a band called (yes, unfortunately, horrible name) Matthew Good Band. Now, since the other band members realized that Matt was an asshole with a big mouth then got up and left, Matt has gone solo. With that comes Avalanche, the first album released by Matthew Good minus the band.

Before I speak of the album, I'm going to talk about the "secret site". This "secret site" is a site that can only be accessed when you have the CD placed in your drive and the code from your card you recieve with the album. What do you get on that site? Three songs you can, apparently, not get anywhere else and never-before-seen pictures from concerts. What do I think about this? It's just a ploy to get people to stop burning their own Avalanche CD's. From what I hear, it's worked pretty damn well. I can't even get into the site it's so fucking busy.

Well, anyhoo, the album is great. Matt's voice couldn't be better and the lyrics, well, they're different. It seems like Matt has never once sang about something happy. Now, he's singing about how lovely love is. There are also some songs based on the happenings in the States, I assume. I'd like to get back to his voice. Man, is it great. Ah, crap, I'm so lazy. Mostly I just wanted to bitch about the site. Fuck this damn review.

Haha, true story. I was searching on google images for a picture of Matt and up comes a picture of Jesus. Yes, Jesus. Coincidence? I hope so.

Monday, March 03, 2003

always horny

You Are Always Horny

How Horny Are You?

Apparently, according to this crappy quiz, I'm always horny. I don't recall any questions about the amount of time I spend thinking about sex, just the amount of times I think about it.

Well, I guess that brings me to today's topic. Anime porn and games like "Dead or Alive". I don't know about other girls, but I don't think I'd ever be so desperate to look at cartoon dicks. There are PLENTY of REAL pictures of PEOPLE on the internet and in magazines. Another thing, furries? What the fuck? What kind of person wanks off to a cartoon of a half human - half lion? Seriously, these people are either extremely lonely or are living in a world where cats have 2 big breasts and stand on two feet. News flash, cats are animals that weigh about 7lbs and stand on 4 feet.
They also have about 6 nipples.

Yeah, you two better keep your clothes on!

Ah, took another quiz to kill time.

What obscure band are you?

Sunday, March 02, 2003

Deodorant - The greatest thing since soap.

I'm sick of walking down the street or the hall of my school and smelling the rancid smell of human sweat. Sometimes I'm just enjoying my lunch in the cafeteria when all of a sudden, some fatso walks past causing me to retch. Seriously, if you sweat at the slightest bit of physical activity (i.e. getting off your ass) wear deodorant. Or at least don't get off your ass. This is HIGH SCHOOL, people, you've gone though puberty a good year or two ago. Have you not noticed the awful smell you are emitting from your pits? Please, next time you lift a finger and start sweating immensely, slab some of your friend, deodorant, on your pits.


Saturday, March 01, 2003

[Avalanche Countdown: 3 days]
Time to make this blog offically a blog.

How? By talking too much about my problems.

Tonight, Brian asked me "What's wrong? Boy troubles?". Well, yes Brian, but it's not the main thing. I'm not so shallow. The main thing I'm upset about is, well, if I knew that things would be a lot different. All I know is that boys are one of the last things on my mind right now. I mean, I've been single since near end of grade 8, I'm used to it by now. I suppose what the big issue is my relationship with the world and myself. You know when you meet new people, you have to describe yourself to them and at the same time, you think about things you usually wouldn't. You get to know yourself better that way. But the thing is, I find it hard to meet new people, so I find myself knowing less and less about... myself. I guess even if I did meet a new person here and there, they wouldn't be very interested in me or anything about me.

Hmm.. such is life.

Oh yeah, and I wore a cardigan-type shirt yesterday in honour of Mr. Rogers.
Hmm... such is death.