The Morning Paper
[Temporarily] Suspended

My Apologies
I'm incredibly thoughtless and lazy.



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Monday, September 29, 2003

Oh God... New Template

I have too much time on my hands.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Darker Mr. Potato Head draws complaints of racism

September 29, 2000

WARWICK, Rhode Island (AP) -- A 6-foot Mr. Potato Head statue, one of dozens dotting Rhode Island as part of a tourism campaign, will be taken down because of complaints that the grinning, brown-skinned figure appeared racist.

The "Tourist Tater" was painted dark brown to appear suntanned and wore an ill-fitting Hawaiian shirt, glasses and a hat.

The fiberglass figure had been on display since May, but no one had complained until its photo appeared Thursday in a newspaper.

Tourism officials decided Friday to take it away from outside City Hall.

"The whole Potato Head campaign is supposed to encourage people to visit. Obviously, we did not intend to offend anyone," Mayor Scott Avedisian said.

East Providence affirmative action officer Onna Moniz-John said she thought the statue resembled the antique figurines she collects that portray blacks as buffoons, such as Little Black Sambo.

"If you look at this potato head, the only thing missing is a watermelon," Moniz-John said.

Tom Schumpert, head of the state Economic Development Corp., which is directing the Mr. Potato Head campaign, said the statue seemed more offensive in the photo.

"If I saw it first, I would have said, 'We need to correct this,"' said Schumpert, who is black.

Kathy Szarko, the artist who designed "Tourist Tater," said that she meant no offense and that several other spud statues are a similar color.

"He's a potato. That's why he's brown," Szarko said.

The statues for the "Birthplace of Fun" campaign are based on the toy created by Hasbro Inc., which is based in Pawtucket.

Other figures include the "Salty Spud," dressed in bright orange rain gear and carrying a fishing net, and "Edgar Allen Poe-tato," honoring the writer, who lived in the state for a short time.

Monday, September 22, 2003

Blah Blah Blah

Woo hoo - it's election time! I am totally unaffected by this except for the hundreds of commercials that have bombarded the airwaves of local television stations. Can't politics play nice?

I keep hearing some shit about reptilian kitten eaters.

Grow up! All I am hearing in those commercials is "neener, neener, neener!"

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Look At That...

Every 60 seconds, you can see my lovely mug (if I'm around).

Woo hoo!

Don't get too used to it though, my account expires October 20th. So, boo.

The sun is shining and we're all stupid...

Crazy party.

Crazy people.

Let's never do that again. Okay?

Well, maybe next week.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

It's that time again, folks.

This one made me laugh, really, I promise. Way better than last time. I promise. Really.

Man breaks world typing record

Friday 15th September 2000

An Australian man has set a new world record by typing out every number from one to one million.

Les Stewart started typing with the word "one" sixteen years and seven months ago - and has now typed every number, in words, up to one million - all by using a single finger.

He got through seven manual typewriters, 1,000 ink ribbons and 19,990 sheets of paper to secure the record for the world's longest typewriter marathon and his ambition to become famous, reports the Daily Star.

Les, from Queensland, took two hours to complete one page of typing and he averaged three pages a day typing for 20 minutes an hour.

He was following his father's advice after being told as a 10-year-old boy: "If you want to be famous, become a record holder."

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Greg shakes his money maker

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

In order to add something interesting to this site, every Wednesday (if possible) I'll post an interesting - hopefully funny - article that has taken place on this day, or one close by, some other year.

The title of this one does it no justice. Really.

Bush uses expletive to describe Times reporter

NAPERVILLE, Ill. (CNN) -- During what his campaign called a "whispered aside," Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush used an expletive Monday to describe a New York Times reporter, the author of several articles Bush has felt were unfair.

Standing on a stage here just prior to making an address, Bush told his vice presidential running mate, Dick Cheney, "There's Adam Clymer, major league asshole from The New York Times."

Cheney replied, "Oh, yeah, big time."

Neither man was apparently aware that their remarks could be picked up by an open microphone on the podium.

Asked about the comment later Monday as he deplaned in Allentown, Pennsylvania, where he was to make a speech on health-care policy Tuesday, Bush said, "I regret that the private comments made it to the public airwaves."

Asked if he planned to apologize to the reporter, Bush answered, "I regret people heard the comments."

The reference was to a Washington correspondent for the Times who was there to cover Bush's appearance.

When asked about the exchange, Karen Hughes, the communications director for the Bush campaign said, "It was meant to be a whispered aside to his running mate. It was not intended to be a public comment." Hughes said Clymer had been the author of a number of articles that Bush felt to be unfair.

The campaign of Democratic challenger Al Gore said the incident represented a breach of Bush's promise to set a new tone for the campaign.

Kym Spell, a spokeswoman for the Gore campaign said, "George Bush, who promised to change the tone, has now broken his word twice: by launching negative personal attacks on Al Gore, and now, by using an expletive to describe a New York Times reporter. Gov. Bush's behavior under the pressures of the campaign is unfortunate and curious."

Andrew Rosenthal, national editor of the Times, said the newspaper had been prepared to ignore the comment because it was whispered and not meant to be heard publicly. However, the newspaper changed its position after Bush campaign staffers had discussed the remark publicly and accused Clymer of bias.

"Since then Karen Hughes and others have been going around and talking about it and criticizing Adam Clymer's coverage of the governor," Rosenthal said he felt compelled to respond, adding the campaign had never called the Times to complain of Clymer's coverage.

"Adam's coverage is fair and accurate. These comments are untrue and unfair. The Bush campaign is accusing Adam of being biased and unfair and we reject that. If they have a problem with the coverage, they should call," said Rosenthal.

Saturday, September 06, 2003

I'm short...

So what? Get over it.

This week...
  • sucked.
  • was lonely without my sister, Elizabeth, who has gone back to the 'Stong.
  • was too crowded - the majority of my classes have about 35 people.
  • seemed to last too long.
  • isn't over.

  • I'm tired of everything.

    I'm tired of sounding emo, damnit. Does it not occur to people that maybe, just maybe, everyone else gets sad sometimes too?
    My glasses are not emo. I prefer to call them "sexy librarian" glasses.

    I'm tired of people searching for porn and then my site coming up. It scares me to think that people who have searched for "Half-Human, Half-Animal Porn" have been here. I think I might puke.
    No really, I think I might.

    I'm tired of being tired.

    Man, I'm just tired.

    Monday, September 01, 2003


    This Yip's article reminds me of the song Making Love to Your Disk Drive by Buck 65 and Governor Bolts. They are both equally hilarious.

    Taken from

    "Unzip your disc and enter the biggest digit"

    "It’s loosening your circuitry and hardening your tweeters"

    "Down my load, I mean my hard drive needs to be emptied"

    "Ill work your backbone until all your discs are floppy"

    "I’ve got the 1 and you’ve got the 0, plus you got good looking dots for me to figure out"

    "Impregnate your printer, you can gigabyte my sausage"

    "My spacebar is swollen/ i'll first finger your "a" secondly backspace your colon"